I read recently that brides and grooms are getting away from certain wedding traditions and surprisingly or not, tossing the garter and bouquet are just such traditions often being abandoned.

The reasoning: removal of the garter is a little on the risqué side as people stand around while a new husband disappears under his wife’s gown to fetch the lacy item. Brides have been making this easier over the years by having a second garter to toss and by making sure that it’s low enough on her leg. But it’s still a component of receptions for most weddings and here’s why….

The wedding garter tradition originated in the Dark Ages. In Wedding Customs Then and Now, published in 1919, Carl Holliday paints the following picture of medieval England: “The brides-maids start with the weary bride to the wedding chamber when suddenly the cry arises, ‘Get her garter!’ If the woman has been thoughtful, she has fastened it loosely to the bottom of her dress so that it drags in plain view of the scrambling ruffians; if she has not been a wise virgin, she may find her clothes in rags after the struggle.”

For a guest, having a tatter of the bride’s dress was considered good luck. Traditions around this stuck. Women in the middle ages also gave away the flowers in their hair and sometimes handkerchief-sized pieces of veil. For the recipient, it was indeed a good omen for their own matrimony.

While considered good luck, the sense of being under attack was NOT popular with brides, so they began throwing their bouquets into the crowds to distract people. They could then make a break for it with their husband to the bridal chamber. The groom would open the door and toss out the garter once the couple was inside.

Over the years, this act of distraction has turned into a tradition meant for the bride to pass on her good fortune to one single lady. Whoever catches the bouquet at a wedding is thought to be the next lady in line to wed.

The reason that brides are getting away from this tradition has more to do with saving time and embarrassment. As couples wait longer to get married, their single friends do NOT want to stand around in that posture of “please Lady Luck, shine your light on ME!” And with the bouquet, so is going the garter toss. Couples would rather keep dancing than interrupt the reception fun with another planned moment.

All of that said, those who decide to keep these two traditions alive at their ceremonies tend to keep it fun ad tasteful. They don’t over-imbibe and then go garter diving in front of grandparents and distant relatives. And DJs don’t necessarily call out the single ladies – it’s just a light moment toward the end of the night. Regardless, what happens with both of these traditions at people’s weddings is talked about long after we’ve packed up our cameras. Weddings are a celebration, after all, right?

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